Sara
Last fall God continued to work through our IF:TABLE gatherings here in Clarksville. I would have never imagined what He had in store for us on October 22, 2017. As that day was approaching I couldn't help but think about the women that God was bringing to The Hayloft that afternoon. What did He have planned for them to say, hear, or see? At the past three IF: Tables God left me completely in AWE. I think that is the best way to describe how I felt. In awe and so so grateful. I can remember standing in front of everyone at our September gathering just saying "WOW, Thank You, and I'm so excited!!!!" over and over again. I just couldn't believe it. Standing there, looking at their faces and the stories they each held- I just couldn't get over how He had it planned for each of them to be there that night- at that time- in that specific seat. It was one of the most incredible feelings- seeing what God did through that event. It is something I'll never forget.
It was like a wedding day for me! I was so excited, just filled with giddy little girl excitement and butterflies. Mrs. Shirley Thomas offered her beautiful Hayloft for us to host this event. This space is one of our favorite places- like one of the places I dreamed about having an IF:Table at.. and it was really happening!!!! I just couldn't believe it!! Mrs. Trina Snider decorated each and every table with the most detailed table arrangements. I love the heart and soul she put into each table- the fabric and greenery she would use. The cases of candles, books, and vases her sweet husband would unload for her to look through until she found just what she was looking for. I love watching her work- watching her go from table to table, making it so special for the women that would sit there. I am so very thankful for those two women and the generosity they poured into these gatherings.
As we all started to arrive to set up the event, it was a team effort! There were husbands putting up tables and chairs, setting up the sound and tech side for us to watch the video, and trying to heat the water in the trough that would be used for anyone wanting to be baptized that night. Kids ran around while, friends and other family members were setting up each of the coffee stations and the tables for the desserts. Each of the table leaders were setting out the folders of materials we had organized for each woman and their table's conversation cards. Afterwards, they each walked around and prayed over their tables and the seats- for the women that God would place in front of them that night. Intentionally taking the time to focus their hearts and minds on what would happen there.
As the women began to walk in, my heart started pounding! Were we ready? Did we have enough seats? Was there water in the coffee makers- is everything plugged in and working? Will the video and sound work? All of the little details started running through my head. This was it!! At this gathering we would not only view and use the resources IF had prepared for us, but our friend Courtney would share her testimony too. I couldn't wait for each person to hear her beautiful story. This was also a very special night because my own little girl would be attending this IF Table. Throughout the past several months my children had heard mommy talk a lot about IF. My oldest daughter was very interested in what was happening at these gatherings and she wanted to go and be a part of it too. I was so proud to have her there- I wanted her to see women gathering together to talk- to have a face to face discussion about their relationship with God. To see that it is okay to have doubts or be scared, but to hear how they overcame that with Him. They relied on His word and truths to get them through that valley and praise Him. That afternoon would turn out to be a very special day for her....(more to come in our next post!)
As the seats began to fill and the women were seated and ready...It was time to begin!! AGH!!! I was so excited!! As I walked up to the front, I couldn't believe how God had grown this group, from 10 to 200. All of the women were just as excited about what was in store for us that night as I was. Each woman sitting there was in the exact spot God needed her to be. There at the Hayloft at that table, but also in their relationship with Him. On one of the past IF videos, a speaker said, "No one is behind in their relationship with God." That really stuck with me and still to this day, I try and share that with others. Not to compare your relationship with his or her's, because they are all so unique and different. Some of us are buried down in a dark place needing light, some sprouting and beginning to bloom with the right nourishment, some growing fierce and strong, or others beginning to wither, needing to lean on another and find the light again.
Before we began, we all stood together around the room to pray. This has been one of my all time favorite parts of our IF Tables- circling around the room to pray together. Each time we would pray for God to help us be present, to focus our hearts and minds on Him. We prayed for God to help us not miss the beauty of each woman sitting at our tables. Inside the barn that night, we bowed our heads, and held hands with one another as I shared a prayer that I had written in my journal months ago.
A prayer for our IF Table gatherings before this all began- "when the pages were still blank and unwritten. I prayed for God to fill them with His plans and His vision. To use me to help prepare a gathering that points these women back to Him."
As the women went back to their seats, I was preparing to say all my "Thank You's", but.... the women that this had all began with- the 10 women that sat around my kitchen table a few months ago were all starting to come up front. I had no idea what was going on...
They had an announcement- an amazing surprise. They all stood beside me as Annie shared this story with all of the women that night. The story of the IF Gathering tickets...
“Wouldn’t it be the coolest thing ever to be in Austin for the big IF:Gathering?! We have to get tickets and go!” I wish I could tell you how many times I heard Sara tell me this! Ever since God put IF on her heart, Sara has had the desire to be in Austin for the 2018 IF:Gathering. Working daily with her, I was so lucky to get a front row seat to everything IF:Table. I loved hearing her talk about the plans for the next event, and was so inspired hearing about how God was talking to her and leading her through this whole process. Each month brought on new challenges and adventures- and each month God continued to show up in BIG ways. As the last IF:Table of 2017 got closer and closer, so did the registration date for IF:Gathering 2018. Tickets went on sale at 10am, and Sara and I were in a school meeting so she had asked her sweet husband, Chad, to get on his computer and try to get her some tickets. Well…. The tickets sold out in THREE MINUTES! What?!?! We could not believe it, and even though Sara would never admit it, I knew she was SO bummed since being in Austin for the event was such a big dream of hers.
Well, I am a fixer by default. You tell me there is a problem, and my first reaction is “Okay, let’s figure out how we can fix this!” At first I thought, “Well this is a HUGE event…there is no way we could get those tickets.” But, God kept tugging at my heart and I kept hearing, “write an email…”
So, I started praying and wrote an email telling Jennie Allen (the creator of IF) about Sara, her humble heart, how she had transformed our community through IF, and her desire to be at IF:Gathering. Then I sent it to my friend Courtney to make it sound better (because I am NOT a writer) and prayed. And then, the hard part- getting the email to Jennie Allen. I knew that the email had to get to her in order for all of this to work. I went a little crazy with this part and got on the IF website and literally sent emails to anyone and everyone who had been mentioned on the website. I probably sent twenty emails. I sent it to Jennie’s assistant, her booking agent, and any woman who had been or was a speaker for IF. And through all of this, I prayed and prayed, and I asked all of the IF Leaders to pray too. And let me tell you… PRAYER WORKS! Within an hour, I received an email back from Jennie’s booking agent that said, “Anne, I will gladly forward this to Jennie’s office!” I was trying really hard to not freak out at this point.
It was the next afternoon that the true freak out began when I received this email:
“Hey Anne! Jennie Allen forwarded me your email via Brian Elliott regarding your sweet friend Sara. This is not something we do often, but we would love to give you and Sara, or Sara and another friend, tickets to IF:2018."
WHAT?!?! JENNIE ALLEN HAD READ THE EMAIL! SARA WAS GOING TO IF:GATHERING 2018!!
I couldn’t believe it!! Look what our awesome God did! I was in tears as I called Courtney and told her what was happening and then text all of the IF Leaders that had been praying so hard! Our God is so good! Sara and I worked right next door to each other and I was jumping up and down with excitement when she came into my classroom that afternoon. I came up with some lame excuse like, “Oh I just drank a lot of coffee this afternoon!” trying to not spill the secret! Keeping that secret from her for a few days was SO hard!
I will always remember telling Sara about her tickets at our October IF:Table. It was so special to be able to give Sara this gift and acknowledge the amazing disciple and leader that she has been for us all. Sara... I hope that you have an amazing time in Austin at IF:Gathering 2018 and that God continues to use you to disciple to our community. No one deserves this more!
- Annie Head
This was me- just having found out a few minutes ago that Lindsey and I would be going to Austin, TX for If Gathering 2018!!!!!
I can't even begin to tell you how excited and overjoyed, in shock I was when I heard this!!! I just kept shaking my head and crying because I was so surprised!!!!! I for sure thought I wasn't going to get to go when the tickets sold out so fast! I can remember scrolling through their website at the pictures and plans with Shea years ago, just dreaming about going! And now, how amazing that I would be able to actually go with Lindsey!! Crazy right!?!? I couldn't get over it, or stop thinking about what a gift this was. How so many people had to act on that email for this to happen- how so many little pieces to this puzzle had to align. This was something I had prayed and prayed about, that I thought was a no, but was answered with a yes in His timing. After they finished telling me and presenting me with the two tickets to the IF Gathering in Austin, TX I just couldn't even think straight! Agh!! Again, I was just in awe of how God was using IF to work through our lives.
I took a deep breathe and looked at the next thing I had written down to talk about- my journal. Deep inside I thought to myself, "God, help me.. show me what to say. Tell me what they need to hear. Lord God, Speak through me the words that you need me to say." Throughout all of these gatherings I have had to rely very heavily on Him to lead me through this. I'll be honest with you- I have never done anything like this, nor did I feel like I was good enough to lead these women. How does someone like me go and make disciples? I have learned that sometimes we think we aren’t ready for what God is asking us to do... but God doesn’t make mistakes. If he calls us to do something, He will give us what we need. I was listening to a sermon the other day and he said, "God will call you to do things out of your comfort zone to draw you near to him. When we are nervous or need his help... we pray more and rely on him more through it."
“Now may the God of Peace...equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
That night, I brought my personal journals with me. I felt God wanting me to share some of the entries I had written. Journaling has really changed the way I talk to God, it has changed my relationship with Him. It isn't like a Dear Diary or anything. I just simply use it to write down my prayers. Sometimes when I am praying I can get lost in thoughts or my mind might starts to wonder. By writing my prayers down I am able to really think through what I am praying to Him about, what I want to share about my worries or concerns, my praises or what I am so thankful for. It has been very powerful for me to be able to go back and look through the ways God has been so present in my life. I marked the pages that I would read out to the women...One was about the beauty in the day Lindsey and Cody's baby, Bella, was born. Praising him for her and bringing peace and a smile back to mom and dad's face for those moments. The second was about missing Shea. Struggling with grief and finding myself scrolling through all of her pictures and videos. Just wanting to hear her voice and see her, just to be with her again. The third entry that I shared was about my personal struggles as a working mom and wife. Feeling so distant from Him as I was trying to balance everything that week. "God where am I? I feel like I am being tossed back and forth. Like a boat in the ocean, drowning in my worry, stress, and doubt. Lord forgive me for being this way. I can feel the distraction of work - the pressure overtaking my mind. I come home feeling defeated and short tempered. None of the fruits you wish to see. Why God? Why have I put this pressure on myself? Where are my priorities?" Whew.. it was very raw, very unedited feelings, but in that vulnerable place I felt safe sharing it with them. I wanted them to know that I struggle too. That everyday is not perfect, but having felt those moments of peace. Those moments of relief and complete trust in God- it makes it all worth fighting for. To get back to that place- that place of unexplainable peace.
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
After I finished sharing my journal entries, it was time for our sweet Courtney to share her heart and journey. It was so beautiful to see her stepping out in her faith to share those intimate details, to be so vulnerable about her past, but also about how He was there, loving her at her darkest, and now she was about to use those experiences to grow her and to help others. The way she has dedicated her life to Him has been amazing to see. It makes me, Lindsey, and our Shea so very very proud.
As I walked away and handed the mic off to her, I looked over at her husband, mother, aunt, and cousin, all sitting right up front. They were already tearing up, maybe nervous and excited for her all at the same time. I loved seeing their faces- they were so proud of her. Front row, cheering and supporting her as she opened up about a lot of extremely difficult areas that God has brought her through.
Courtney
“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. ”
IF has given me one of the sweetest blessings. Sara approached me and asked if I would share my testimony at the upcoming IF table that was being held. Lindsey had just shared her testimony at the IF table before and I felt so inspired and uplifted as I watched her share her story. I knew that after experiencing His love in such an intimate way through years of failures, triumphs, tragedy and loss that I would be called to encourage other women through my testimony, how He has and continues to change and encourage my life as a new woman in Christ. The thought of trying to get everything together and weeding through my life events was crippling. I spent several days praying for His help and reassurance that my story was worthy of being told. He woke me early one morning with an overwhelming feeling. I just knew that He was telling me that it was time to sit down and write. Once I put pen to paper my heart poured out with zero effort. God placed all of the right words on my heart to share. The days leading up to the event were such a tug of war with God and Satan. It was emotionally and physically draining. Satan tried to stop me each day. Through encouragement from so many women and countless prayers to God, I was able to overcome my fears and trust His plan. He gave me the sweetest nudges throughout those last few days. The day of, I felt so incredibly held by Him. Standing up in front of so many women brought feelings of fear and insecurity into my heart. He took it all away on this day. I prayed that God would open the hearts of women that would be sitting before me at IF. I knew that the delivery of my message would probably be messy, and it was, but as I finished I remember thanking God for getting me through to the end. So many women approached me afterwards with the sweetest words and hugs. My heart poured out as a woman decided to rededicate her life to God and was baptized. God is so faithful. He is present. He is life.
IF Table has opened my heart to how many women in our community are craving His presence in their lives. I was blown away at all of the generations that are able to come together and have one common factor...a desire to grow in their relationship with God. I loved sitting at my tables and being able to look a woman in the eyes and say "me too". How comforting is it to know we are not alone in our struggles, desires, needs and journeys? There is something beautiful about sitting down and having a meal together and leaving with your heart more full than your stomach, which is where I always stood after an If gathering. Personally, IF and God gave me the courage and an audience to tell of my testimony. I've never felt so encouraged. I never thought I could stand before over 200 people and words actually leave my lips. I will forever be grateful for my experience with If and the new developments in my journey with Christ that have come to be because of it. I am so excited to see If grow in our community and continue to press in to share the gospel with such beautiful and amazing women.
-Courtney Zenner Wix
“I will tell of your goodness; all day long I will speak of your salvation, though it is more than I can understand.
I will go in the strength of the Lord God; I will proclaim your goodness, yours alone. You have taught me ever since I was young, and I still tell of your wonderful acts. Now that I am old and my hair is gray, do not abandon me, O God! Be with me while I proclaim your power and might to all generations to come.
Your righteousness, God, reaches the skies. You have done great things; there is no one like you. You have sent troubles and suffering on me, but you will restore my strength; you will keep me from the grave. You will make me greater than ever; you will comfort me again.I will indeed praise you with the harp; I will praise your faithfulness, my God. On my harp I will play hymns to you, the Holy One of Israel. I will shout for joy as I play for you; with my whole being I will sing because you have saved me.
I will speak of your righteousness all day long, because those who tried to harm me have been defeated and disgraced.”
Sara
As the IF video ended and the conversations began at each table, I couldn't help but look around the room. My eyes scanned each table and I saw women holding hands and praying together, women crying as they listened to the heartache of another, some women laughing and shaking their heads yes- me too! It was incredible to see how God was working through each of the women. Throughout our gatherings, each table has had a "table leader" to help start off the conversations, someone to open up first or listen and point them towards a verse that might help. Each of the table leaders studied and really put a lot of time, thought, and prayer into what Holy Spirit was preparing them to share. We all met beforehand to look over the materials and Mrs. Cindy led us through a study on the scriptures that we could show women to guide them back to His word. What I love most about these women is that none of them are perfect- none of them have lived sinless lives. They have endured through seasons of loss or hurt, and they are learning like us to look to Him for healing and guidance in very heartbreaking times. They are beautiful mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, or daughters who are willing to be open and share their stories, their "hills and valleys" to help others. I can't thank them enough for this- following their hearts through their faith. I truly believe God had planned for each one of you to be on this journey, for us to come together in bring other women in our community to Him.
“My beloved spoke and said to me, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me. ”
IF Clarksville Team 2017
Not only has IF:TABLE changed the way I view discipleship and talking with women about God, but there a a few other women that wanted to share how our IF gatherings have impacted their lives as well.....
"I have been to two IF Gatherings and plan to continue to keep going as they come. I have never been apart of a “bible study” “class” “other church groups” that I actually felt like I got much out of. It was more of a “checklist” type thing as Lindsey has said before in her testimony. I never left any of those things feeling good or feeling like I was closer to Jesus because of going to them. I needed more and IF has been that more for me. It has encouraged me to want to learn more and be excited to learn more after hearing all the great things other women experience along their Christian walks when we meet and discuss at the IF table. I really felt like Lindsey’s Testimony helped me in my life especially as a hair dresser. I struggle daily with the gossip and everything else you hear at the salon. I’m new to this whole hair stylist thing and have been afraid of what I say and do because I didn’t want to lose clients. I need all I can get right now to build my career. Lindsey’s testimony has helped me so much. Hearing how she has shaped her lifestyle to tell people more about Jesus instead of the new scoop that’s going around really has encouraged me to do the same. It’s a struggle daily but I try to keep my life centered around Him now in every way that I can. I’m so glad I have a place to come now and leave feeling full of Jesus. IF Gathering has become something I look so forward to every month now. Thank y’all so much for starting it. Also, thank you all for being such great leaders for everyone to look up to! You have changed so many lives and mine is one of them."
"I just wanted to share how much I enjoyed the If Table Gathering with you all ! I have been taking a few months of prayer, rest and meditation because I felt unsure of my calling. I told my mentor I know what my spiritual gifts and passions are but felt pulled in many directions as far as possible Ministries. She recommended I take a period of time for prayer and meditation to seek clarity. The last few weeks I had been feeling God calling me to use my gifts to reach out to the women right around me in my neighborhood. Then I went to IF and heard the amazing testimonies and the video just reiterated that to me. The power of sharing our story and how the Lord has and is impacting our daily lives. I wrote down at the gathering that I wanted to start and IF Table Gathering in my neighborhood and I wanted to write my story so that I would be prepared when God called me to share it:)!"
"I felt a tug at my heart to make it to IF Table.. it seemed simple enough, dinner with other women talking about your walk with Jesus and what He is up to in your life. With young little's, it's an area of my life I haven't been putting as much intentional focus on as I've wanted. I was laughably nervous since I was going alone, which is silly to still feel that way at 32! New things alone can make me nervous. I saw a lot of familiar faces and the second I walked in an old friend, of half my life who I sat at a table with. I see her at birthday parties and friend get togethers but at this point in life rarely get to actually catch up (while chasing the kids) and almost never about what God is up to in their life. I got to hear some of that on this night! It was actually exactly what I needed to hear. She said she'd actually been a little anxious to come too!
The time flew by. The testimony and the table conversation, with people I knew and didn't know.. all about the amazing works of Jesus. All things I related to so incredibly much. I LOVED hearing the different walks & seasons of life. Turns out there was even someone at my table that lived in my neighborhood. I thought about the stories that night through the weeks after, prayed for them, and was excited to go to the next one! It absolutely made me realize that had filled an area I was not actively pursuing in my life.. making time with other women to transparently talk about God and that I wanted to invite more people to experience too. The dinner and decoration the team put into this was awesome, but I was not sure if I wanted to commit to hosting my own as a working mama of two. My house isn't ever as clean as I want & I'd have to coordinate for my little monkeys to be somewhere else so a conversation could even be held.
The second time I went, more familiar faces but still people I had never met at my table sharing things in their life--struggles and praises that I just loved hearing. God led us to hear all those things. It was awesome. I decided after the 2nd IF Table I wanted to host my own, in hopes to share that God connection with others & have been talking with friends to get it going! It's an area we each need to make more time in our life for. I'm grateful for what the experience has already brought in my life."
Join us for IF:CLARKSVILLE 2018
The fire has been lit in our community and God is on the move !! We want to give God away in the very places He’s put us, so we’re going to gather for the purpose of remembering why following God and making disciples matters. We all get tired, we all wonder if what we’re doing matters, so IF:Gathering 2018 will be the reminder--it will be the celebration. The work we’re doing to share the gospel on the earth is worth it and God DOES move through the little things that nobody sees.
We invite you to come with a friend, family member, or someone you just met on March 2nd and 3rd! We are very much looking forward to gathering together with you and to see what God has planned for us through this event. Click here for more information on registering for this event!