Last fall God continued to work through our IF:Table gatherings here in Clarksville. I would have never imagined what He had in store for us on October 22, 2017. As that day was approaching I couldn't help but think about the women that God was bringing to The Hayloft that afternoon. What did He have planned for them to say, hear, or see? :: READ MORE ::

God has been so cool. He placed desires on our hearts for more, to bring people together...people that are craving Him, that want to know Him more, that want to understand HIS word better, that want to be around other people who have these same desires, that want to be better disciples.  Sara started hosting an IF TABLE gathering here in Clarksville, and I started a bible study group at my home... :: READ MORE ::

On the second day of visitation towards the end the motions of the day started to change and it began to get real...that's when it started hitting me, all this time people come hug you, talk to you, then they leave but it was different now...people were staying after they talked to us, they were standing around and it was getting so full. I felt so many eyes on us and it made me want to crawl in a hole. People weren't leaving anymore, it was almost time for the funeral so they were waiting for it to begin.... :: READ MORE ::

Standing in that line, hugging each person that came by to say goodbye to her, or to comfort one of us- it was the weirdest feeling. We are all standing there on each side of her casket, shaking hands or hugging people we know, people we don't know but knew Shea, family, and friends- It was so sad to see the pain in their eyes, their heartache and grief.  :: Read More ::

There is something about nature...I never really stopped and noticed it before but if you take a closer look it's absolutely beautiful and it's all Him. They way he can use it to really grab our attention, I believe that its completely HIM reaching out to you through what he has created all around you! :: READ MORE ::

Everyday Shea is still teaching me how to be a better mom, I'm learning even more from her now that she is gone. I'm going to try my best to teach my children the most important thing they will ever learn and not just by telling them, but by showing them in the way I live everyday. I want them to see their mom live for God....   :: READ MORE ::

As we talked about the exact location of her grave, right beneath the Hickory tree, dad told us about the importance and meaning of that tree. It had been growing there for hundreds of years and this type of tree was known for its strength and durability. Under that tree, the most beautiful double buttercups grew there each spring. Shea loved that buttercup field, but also the way the fog looked in the mornings on it, and its fence in front of her old house had her favorite gate on it. I thought about how we used to play hide and go seek in those flowers with our cousins. :: READ MORE ::

Every detail was so carefully decided with the only the thought of what would honor Shea. What flowers, music, pictures, or fonts would she have chosen in her everyday life. So many people were helping us get her funeral ready, but one of the parts of planning the funeral that we knew we wanted to take care of was getting her ready. :: READ MORE ::

There was one dream that truly stood out to me, it was different from all the others. In this dream I felt like she was giving me a message, I felt like I was suppose to hear this for some reason. I think back now that maybe God tried many times to tell me this, but I wasn't really listening? At that point in my faith I was more worried about Shea than God and sometimes I would even find myself crying and praying to her instead of HIM. Maybe he knew at that time in my life that if Shea told me then I would listen so intently.  :: READ MORE :: 

Once we sat for a minute and calmed down my sweet dad spoke up and said in the most casual way "Well I talked to Shea last night!" Sara and I looked at him wide eyed and said, "you did!? What do you mean?" He said "well, while I was in the waiting room all night I was laying there I heard Shea's voice.....  :: READ MORE ::

The thought that Shea wasn't going to make it was becoming our reality. We were in our last hours with her here on Earth. In overwhelming sadness and shock, we knew we couldn't handle this on our own. We turned to God for comfort, but we also began learning about the love and peace we would find in The Holy Spirit. :: READ MORE ::

When we pass away, are we able to see our bodies- to see our loved ones grieving over us as we transition from this world into the next?  I think if Shea saw us crying over her- she would have wanted to tell us that she was okay- not to worry because our God was holding her- consumed by his love and complete peace. :: READ MORE ::

I've learned that grieving isn't a one size fits all kind of thing. Each of us are grieving over the loss of Shea so differently. Some through denial or anger. Some through tears and depression. Honestly, I pushed it down deep. I pushed my hurt and worries, my sadness and anger down so that I wouldn't feel it.  :: READ MORE ::

"Something is clicking inside me, it's a different feeling. I knew I believed that Jesus is the son of God but to live for Him truly! And to guide others towards Him? It wants to pour out of me. I love Him so much it literally brings me to tears! I don't know why now? Why am I just now getting it? It's a deep heart connection and true love and it fills my whole entire body! I think about him constantly! I can't wait to get to Heaven to see Him and feel the huge amount of love and peace and happiness..... :: READ MORE ::