Lindsey
There is something about nature...I never really stopped and noticed it before but if you take a closer look it's absolutely beautiful and it's all Him. They way he can use it to really grab our attention, I believe that its completely HIM reaching out to you through what he has created all around you! Think about that for a minute....He Made It!! So of course he will use it, it's something tangible that you see with your eyes so you believe it more. At a time when I wasn't truly seeking God or taking the time to try to hear Him I felt Him reaching out to me through His creation all around me, I was so lost and focused on loosing Shea and He was so sweet and gentle trying to show me His love for me. I don't believe in accidents or coincidences with God ...when a butterfly follows you throughout the day or flies across you at just the right moment when your at your weakest or need some encouragement, I believe that's God giving you a taste of hope, showing you that He is here all around us! If you will just be present then you will see HIM everywhere. On the days of Shea's visitation and funeral God put the most beautiful pictures in the sky. From a cloud that is shaped like an angel with big wings to a beautiful double rainbow right over the church where we had her ceremony. God was trying to show us that she is okay and that we will all see her again one day with Him.
Cindy had explained to us about the yellow butterfly, how God had shown her that through nature He can give us signs. These are signs that He is with us and all around us! The day before Shea passed Cindy noticed the most beautiful yellow butterfly and she stopped to watch it, she even took out her phone and it stood still long enough for her to take a picture of it. After Shea passed God showed her how just like that butterfly that she saw the day before, Shea is free and totally transformed in Christ...how beautiful! Shea is completely healed and renewed in Him and in complete peace in heaven. No... we are not saying that Shea is a butterfly now, but think about how a butterfly changes. God does the same for us, He makes us new and into something so beautiful. Since then we hear story after story of how Shea's friends see them everywhere. At just the right moment, sitting so still beside them or fluttering with them all day long. God is trying to reach us in the most sweetest and tender way. He's not screaming in your face or waving red flags in front of you, it's your free will for what you will see and believe but if we put our worldly views aside we can see Him all around us!
“Keep your mind on things above, not on worldly things.”
The day before Shea's funeral I was driving by myself down the road, I had just left her home and was headed back to my moms. I started seeing beautiful bright yellow butterfly's fly beside my car and something in my head made me start counting, although I had never done that before, there were so many! I had never noticed this many before 1,2,3,4... flying straight in front of my car even..5,6,7,8 butterflies. I was smiling with tears welling up in my eyes at this point and I started talking to Shea in my mind ... what number would she try to get to? Our parents, us 3 sisters, 3 husbands, 4 children, and two baby's in me and Sara's belly equals 14. So I say in my head...ok God if you get to 14 then I will believe this whole butterfly thing, I will believe it's you! I keep counting and get to 14 all yellow butterflies that flew past my car and then I think to myself...ok God if you really want to show off show me one more for my baby in heaven....not long after I see one more yellow butterfly fly beside the car and I begin to weep while I'm still smiling. I didn't see one more single butterfly the whole rest of the way home.
I realize not everyone will believe that this is Him and that's ok, but think of where I was at that moment. I was completely broken after just loosing Shea, planning her funeral and praying constantly for strength and for signs while in a crazy busy fog not really present in the moment at all. But yet I noticed them, I counted them for some reason not even knowing why? God loves me so much and He knew that this little yellow butterfly reminded me of my sweet sister every time I saw it, so He is constantly putting it around me to show me His love. It gets my attention when I'm at my lowest or highest, when he knows I need to see something tangible with my eyes. I needed a sign that He was real and Shea was with him. I needed a sign of hope.
Sara
Throughout the past 11 months since Shea passed away, I have read and heard about so many people’s butterfly stories. Each one I have been so in AWE, I just love hearing how God is comforting others- really using that beautiful insect as a symbol of hope for them. It is truly amazing how each person’s story is so different- so unique to exactly what they needed to hear- what God was telling them through that situation. When Lindsey and I talked about sharing these stories with you all through the blog, deep down I worried because I had never had my own “butterfly encounter” or story to share. I hadn’t seen a butterfly sitting beside me or been able to count them one by one... I so desperately wanted it though. Throughout the past weeks I have prayed a lot and asked God what He wanted me to share with you since I didn’t have my own butterfly story.
Well, I just have to tell you how sweet our God is and how He showed me what to share with you all. Throughout the past few weeks I have been personally struggling with a few things- I would feel so close- so connected to Him and then I could feel the enemy creep in with doubts, worries, or anxiety over different things. I have been on this up and down rollercoaster of emotions. Going from feeling the closest and deepest connection with Him that I have ever felt, just on FIRE for Him!!! To feeling like the weight of my worries was too much, the burden was so heavy. In this place, I have been praying to Him- trying to put these things down at His feet, trying “to cast my cares on Him.” And when I say cast.. I mean fully tossing them- truly trying to let go! So there had been this back and forth feeling- almost like being in the ocean and at times you feel firm in the water, but then the wave comes and you lose your balance, almost pushing you over. But then, one night- the waves were too strong- I lost my balance and fell down before Him, crying out for His peace through this and to fill me back up with His love. I wanted to feel His presence and I asked for him to show that to me- to open my eyes to the way He loves and cares for me, and to help me feel at peace about all the unknowns or concerns I had. I really thought a lot about two different scriptures that night: Matthew 11:28-30 and Philippians 4:5-7.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.””
“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Early the next morning, I went outside on our porch. It's one of my favorite places to go and spend time, but I hadn’t been able to make it out there in a little while. I turned on some music and the song, “Broken Hallelujah” was the first to play. How perfect this was for me right then. As I listened to the words of this song, you wouldn’t believe what I saw sitting ever so still on the screen!!!! I couldn’t believe it- I had to get closer. I leaned over slowly, not wanting to scare it away and I thought to myself... There’s no way.
YES… it was a butterfly. I mean not just any butterfly.. The black and yellow butterfly. FOR REAL!!! I just stood there staring at it thinking, "is this really happening. I mean really…" I wasn’t sure how long this little guy would be hanging around, so I grabbed my journal (well- my phone too, because of course I had to take a picture!) and I started writing about what was happening. I want to share with you a portion of what I wrote that morning…
“.... God, as I sit here there is a beautiful yellow and black butterfly. Sitting so still, not even a flutter. Just sitting on the screen here on the porch. Where for some reason- YOU GOD- I came outside to spend time with you and saw it, almost like it was waiting on me here. Thank you so much God for showing this to me- in this time when I was so upset. God I love you so much. Help open my heart, mind, soul, and eyes to this crazy unimaginable love you have for me. God out of all the creatures, little bugs, or insects you could have put on that screen- you put a yellow butterfly. Thank you Lord- WHEW! Tears are just flowing because now God- it has been almost 25 minutes and it is still here sitting with me…..”
I stopped writing and went outside the porch to get a closer look. As I stood there, barefoot in the wet grass, I watched it sit so still. I looked at the way it’s teeny tiny legs clung to the screen. Then all of a sudden, it took off and flew away. Tears began flowing again. I went back onto the porch and began to write again
“ ….God as I watched it fly away, it’s like the freedom Shea has now- to fly- free and so so happy in heaven. But God, as I am writing, I feel like you telling me I do too- not to actually fly, but that I can transform too. I can leave my worries and anxieties with you, because just like that butterfly God- you will give me what I need to change, to grow, to fly. Thank you so much God for showing all this to me today- for comforting and loving me.. Just when I thought I didn’t have my own butterfly story.”
I sat there just thinking about what had happened- the way God had been so sweet to me. To place that little butterfly there.. That exact spot at that exact moment for me to see- it honestly brought me such comfort- reminded me how much God cares for me.. How He does hear me.. He does hear my prayers and know my heart. The word comfort kept coming to me, so I looked it up in the front of my bible where it shows you verses related to that topic. 1 Peter 5: 6-7 really stood out to me, so I looked it up. “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
WOW! I couldn’t believe it.. I felt like this verse just bundled up everything I needed to hear that morning. This experience that morning showed me just how much our God cares for us- just how He does hear every word I cry out to Him. Even though that morning I didn’t get answers for my concerns or understand all the “why’s” that were causing me to worry and feel heavy-it's just the fact that God so evidently showed me that He is here, He is with me, and He is for me. And that it is okay to let those things go- that He will take that burden- I don’t have to carry it anymore. So much meaning and hope was brought to me that morning. Not only did God show me through my own butterfly story that there is hope and there is a love that He wants to pour out on us, but also through such a sweet time watching that butterfly, he gave me the peace I needed to let go of my worries and trust Him.
“the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”
Lindsey
Without hope I can't imagine what an empty feeling that would be. If a loved one past away and you didn't have hope that they were in heaven with our God then how would you even get out of bed? I can't imagine the sadness that would stick with you day after day. I would be so depleted and broken. The only peace I had right after Shea passed is knowing she was in heaven and knowing I wanted to be there with her one day, but if you didn't have that hope what would you have to look forward to? Getting old and then what? These simple but actually amazing signs from God give us hope everyday that there is more to come. This world is not everything like I use to think it was. I now have hope in a future and eternity with Him. All along in my life, my mind was meant to be set on a future in heaven but it wasn't, it was focused on this earth and what I was doing selfishly for me. Through Shea's passing God has shown me that I need to refocus my hope and desires in Him and not worldly cares. What am I doing today to give someone else hope? What am I doing today to help lead someone else to a future with Him?
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain.”
A pastor named Francis Chan gave a great example in a sermon and it has stuck with me daily.... picture him on stage and he pulls out a long rope, he holds one end of it and then other end you can't see where it ends, it goes down the side of the stage and through the back where you can't see it anymore. On the end of the rope that's in his hands he puts a little piece of red tape around it and says...right here where this red tape is is your life here on earth, the whole rest of that rope is your eternity....it's endless, ongoing. What you are doing in this life during this little red piece of tape determines the whole entire rest of your eternity ....what's it going to be? What are you doing in this life to secure your eternity in heaven with your Lord and savior? This life may seem so long and everything we could ever want, but in reality it's not, it's short...think of how quick your life has gone so far? Feels like just yesterday I was in high school, but that was ten years ago now! How quick this life goes! How much longer do I have to be a disciple for Him.. to strengthen my relationship with Him..to spread his word and talk to someone and give them hope they might desperately need to hear before it's their time to go....then we won't have that chance again.
Sara
In her death, Shea went through the most incredible ultimate transformation possible. I don’t think Shea has transformed into a butterfly either, but there is something so reassuring and beautiful about how God has used nature to comfort us and so many other people. Think about the butterfly...
It's an insect that starts out as a caterpillar, then stops eating and hangs itself upside down. Then somehow- God gives it what it needs to change- slowly, in this dark place it radically transforms its body and in the most perfect timing- emerges as a butterfly. When you really think about that- that’s amazing.
When I see a butterfly now, I feel like He is telling me she is okay, better than just okay-...she is new- she is healed- she is loved and at peace. I don’t know if I didn’t notice them as much before, but now it only takes the quick notice of their flutter to catch my eye. I love hearing Mack and Kinsley get so excited about seeing them too! It is always a reminder of her, and His love for her and us. I hope that I don't stop looking at his creations differently- the rainbows, each colorful sunset, the way the light shines through a window, or the way the farm looks early in the morning- I feel like He is there. I can feel God's presence in those moments and I am so thankful that through all of this, He is opening my eyes to His unexplainable, incredible love for us.
Share your butterfly story....
What we love about this even more, all of these photos on this page are from different butterfly stories others have sent us. God has used this same insect to reassure so many of us. Maybe it was through an experience you had with a butterfly or another way God has used nature to bring you comfort or hope- if you feel comfortable sharing we would love to hear your story.